Knowing The Difference Between Needs And Wants In A Relationship

“I want that! I want it!”

Remember that moment when you were a kid and wanted something badly at the store display or grocery? Was it a chocolate bar or the newest toy that everyone in the neighborhood seem to have? As a child, we all seem to be careless and impulsive, and without any restrictions on how we react on that feeling of wanting something so badly.

Truth is, as an adult, there are still times when you want to throw a tantrum over something that you want. We can control ourselves from crying like a spoiled kid. However, down inside, our mind revolts in deep desire to own it.

What is a need? When we grew up and took responsibility for ourselves, food, water, shelter and clothing are among the basic needs. In the terms of people around your life and relationships, there’s that confusion between needs and wants in a relationship. Love and sex is often misunderstood as the same. Emotions and infatuation are all parts of growing up. It’s all exciting and makes us feel alive when someone else needs us. But when we run into relationship problems, and as we grow mature over time, we get to know that we don’t need sex all the time. In the absence of intimacy and love, sex becomes just a physical act. At first it looks like the only form of validation that someone loves you, but when we enter a truly intimate relationship, we realize that what we truly need is happiness. In a cheesy sense, what makes you happy is when you make the other person happy – and in sex, after that moment of orgasm and you fall into each other arms knowing that both of you were in bliss.

There are several ways to express love other than sex. It’s a good advice for teenagers on questions about their sex decisions. Sex education is more than just about the risks of STDs.

· Real intimacy does not mean sex. It’s about how emotionally close are you with each other.

· Respect and loyalty are among the indications that a couple have reached a level of maturity emotionally.

· Knowing each other not just physically but also emotionally creates a strong bond. In a sense, there’s a level of openness and equality between two people. Are you able to express frustrations, and anger? Or do you keep these negative emotions to yourself?

· A good relationship should enrich each other, even during hurtful instances because you learn from them.

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